Are you looking for your Soul Mate? Perhaps you felt you once found your Soul Mate but lost them?

Soul Mates are a gift and a challenge, as they often reflect back at us the things we least like about ourselves. This offers us an opportunity to humbly grow and change, yet more often it results in heightened emotion, angst and conflict.

You see, our Soul Mates mean so much to us, sometimes they become our Sole Mates.. We give them so much of our love that we have none left for ourselves. We become addicted to the loving response we receive from them, instead of just giving for giving’s sake.

Picture the last relationship you were in. Or perhaps the one you are in right now. Is there a balance between giving and receiving? Is there a balance between time spent together and time spent alone? Is there a balance between partner time and friends’ time?

Often there ISN’T a balance. And in our heightened, loving state, we convince ourselves that this is ok. Some people consider it to be romantic to spend all their time with their loved one. It’s exciting to do many things with our partner. It’s cute to know everything about each other.

What is interesting is how we manage to lose ourselves as INDIVIDUALS in the process.

It is even more interesting to consider that it was YOU, as an INDIVIDUAL that attracted your partner to love you in the first place.

When you lose your individuality and become a compromised version of yourself, is this constructive to your own journey, or even that of the relationship? Is it coincidence that for many, the “chemistry” seems to go away once the couple’s lives have been merged together?

Instead of compromising, which is where both parties give a little to get a little, try to look for synergy, which is where both parties get what they want, AND MORE.

Another way of expressing this might be:

Compromise is 1 + 1 = 1.5

Synergy is 1 + 1 = 3

Be creative and find ways to work TOGETHER, as opposed to making a series of sacrifices for each other in the hope it will keep the peace.

Another thing to consider is how much you truly love yourself. Why is this relevant to your Soul Mate? Consider the following:

If you were bankrupt and did not have a cent to your name, could you donate money to charity? If you were starving to death and had no food, could you give food to the homeless? The unfortunate answer to these questions is No.

So if you don’t unconditionally love YOURSELF, how can you truly unconditionally love your Soul Mate?

The answer is, of course, you can’t. When we try, we distort love into becoming something impure – a love of craving, codependence and control.

Perhaps focus on loving yourself first. Everyone loves love. It’s one of humanity’s most basic needs. It’s also arguably our most beautiful experience. But perhaps it’s best to ask yourself the question before seeking your Soul Mate, “Am I Mates with my Soul?”

About the Author: Dale Ingram is the Business Development Manager of Revival and General Manager of Papilio System. He is trained in various Mind/Body/Spirit and subconscious reprogramming modalities such as PSYCH-K, NLP, Reiki, Light Dynamics and others. He speaks publicly and is passionate about raising awareness of the Power we have within ourselves to make Change in our lives.